30 December 2011

The Momentum of Life

I don't know why I put such title for the entry so don't bother asking neither question yourself. there's something wrong with me yet I'm unable to explain. Often, I ask myself what is really going with me but no answer surfaces.at least  not any reasonable answers. One thing I can assure you is I'm not going crazy heh.Is this the effect of overthinking? Maybe.I should do some reading on this.

The thing is I'm not depressed or at least I feel that I'm not. I'm just tired of this life because it's so fucked up but I have no intention of ending it yet.it's too precious.silly huh.Do I need help? like seeing a psychiatrist or a counselor to solve this confusion? or can I just solve it myself.Too many questions here yet I'm the only who can answer them.

truth is, I've been thinking a lot about my future.worrying that it won't happen as I want it to be.sometimes I don't even know what I really want in this life.like right now I'm studying English that I would soon find myself being a (teacher?). I don't hate it but I find it strange or rather unfitting.sigh.the unfathomable future.this is what I meant here.of what being going on with me.

honestly, I have nothing to talk about but I just feel like writing because I feel lonely.that is why I end up scribbling some stupid things here.goodbye!

08 December 2011

The Ups and Downs

2011 is coming to an end will be leaving the human races when 2012 come knocking into their life soon. If we counted, it's less than a month left! Many things had happened to me throughout this year. good and bad but I'm blessed to be alive though. pretty sure people won't get away with problems in their life.true isn't it? If I were to recall everything happened to my life, this column won't fit my writing.

Anyways, I'm here to write things that were going on with me for the past few months. things that keep me alive, that make me learn from my wrongdoings and of course things that changed my perspective of life which I would say will permanently change my life. 2011 me has taught me the meaning of life,really. it's the year where my life really begins,literally. it teaches me to move on whenever I'm done trying to fix it because it's beyond mend.

20 November 2011

Amplified Silence

My first year of undergraduate studies is finally over.Moving on to the next phase with a new metamorphosis. Tell ya, it wasn't easy. I mean going through the first year. It's not the academics stuffs that make my life hard here but something else.

I've been through pretty messed up situations. To make it worse, with my own course mates. Some of them for sure. God I really hate some of them! while everyone wakes up feeling good to go class, meeting friends etc but I feel the opposite. All I could think was "shit I have to see those faces again today" which pretty much affected me in the class of course. I may act like I don't care but you tell me how long that lasts if you had to face people you loathe practically every single day and week.

11 November 2011

Coming to an End

my first year of undergraduate studies is coming to an end.hooray! unfortunately I can't say that I'm relieved because I have to work my ass off for finals this week.four papers in total.four extreme papers! I just finished with the first paper.something to do with educational psychology which is the least favorite subjects of all.in fact, I don't even like any subjects that I learn for this semester.

not liking the subjects doesn't mean that I don't have to work hard to score well in the exam. I work really hard this time just to make sure that I can obtain good grades and improve my cgpa. I was really disappointed with my last semester's result. I was willing to sacrifice my hari raya celebration with my whole family at kampung and decided to stay home during the whole holiday alone just to do the revision.shit I was really sad because I couldn't celebrate with them though people consider this raya is not like eid-ul-fitr.it is less merrier but hey who doesn't wanna spend the holiday with his or her family right?anyway that's not really my point here.I mean talking about hari raya stuff and all.

I really hope my hard work will be paid off. that's it. that's my only hope now.I'm sure every parents want to see their kids to be successful.mine is not an exception. my dad especially gives pretty much high expectation in my academic achievement and for sure I don't wanna let him down. I know that I'm not a smart guy but I believe that success is achieved by an ordinary man who works extraordinary hard. I can only work hard yet the outcome is in the God's hand.

this is another brief update of mine.throwing my thoughts into words. though I don't really believe in luck in exam but I really appreciate those who wished me that in my exam especially my good friends. I will always say my little prayer for my own success and my friends.

25 October 2011

The Comeback

If internet dusts existed, this blog will be surely covered in a blanket of it. sorry for a long break people.for the past few weeks or maybe months, my life was revolving around marathons of assignments and piles of works to do. so yeah, I'm back to blogging.if some of you happened to notice, I actually had privatized my blog recently for some reason which I dare not tell.

If you ask me whether I miss blogging or not I would definitely say yes. I miss writing some random thoughts of mine which I know I'm the only one who reads it heh. the reason why I'm back on track is I've been thinking too much lately particularly about my own life (obviously) so I thought why don't I just put the thoughts into words. it's better that way. by doing so, it will distress myself in a way. 

to recall what has been happening to my life, I would say it hasn't been treating me well I guess. too many problems to face yet too little solutions found.  I'm not whining, just telling you what I feel.anyways, actually I'm intending to post about something else and apparently not about my life's updates which I find it lame to share with.I think that can come later.just wanna let people know that I'm back.

so yeah, I guess this is my comeback on the world of no truth. one thing for sure, I'm not writing to find enemies but to express. goodbye and have a nice day!

26 July 2011


I shouldn't be awake at this time.but I can't seem to shut my eyes at this night.there's no point trying in vain.let's talk about this stuff later.I'm gonna say about something else.something which tickles my mind lately which brings me to write it out.I don't know whether it's only me who has this problem or someone else might,too.

here's the thing.I dropped by at a bookstore few days back to find some stationery.I got myself some pens and few other things.look that's not what I'm trying to say.it's another thing.it is about me choosing a write pen to buy.it took me like an hour just to pick a pen.an hour!it's an effing long time but that's me.not quite a good decision maker,at times.

18 July 2011


Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate, or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.

03 July 2011

Sickening Attitude

Try not to be prejudiced against what i will say now and read it without comparing these words with your thoughts.I have no idea what i'm talking about.i can't even give the title for this post.i have something to say but i can't seem to find the right words to pen down here.i tried to scrabble my thought to transform it into words yet i failed.well i think this entry will be a short one since i don't have my to say (i guess).

i have been wanting to write about this for a long time.long time as in few months ago hehe.it's quite an issue.not issue like having a conflict or crisis with someone.it's just an issue within myself or perhaps you might realize it once you read further.should i get straight away to the subject or keep twisting my tongue here?haha.right i will tell you what i'm gonna say here.it is about someone's attitude.but don't get me wrong someone here means everyone which includes myself.i bet all of us human beings own this kind of attitude.it's either shown or hidden.sorry i don't have the right term to say about it lol.it's actually about being selfish.that's it.

12 June 2011

Violent Desire Tamed

It's funny when some people or someone thought that my entries are pointed to that particular person.what a fool.get a life you moron!let me tell you something, you're not worth to be the subject of conversation.cut the crap.oh yeah an update.finally! Seriously, if there's anyone to blame, blame Twitter for me being idle in Blogger. It's like everything ever crossed, Twitter been a dump site for me to throw. Now let's back to the playground where I used to say like a give-no-fuck guy.

Remember i used to write how I started burning the cancer stick months ago? never mind you ain't give a fuck about it.no big deal.but this time I'll tell you how I stop.Stop as in no more stick of bogus burning.no more smoke coming out from mouth.get it? tell you,it's not easy where you still have bunch of friends who still smoke.what I meant here is the environment.I don't mind if they wanna smoke in front of me but it was kinda hard to resist the violent desire.my heart says no yet my mind says otherwise.

18 May 2011

Of Friendship

as much as your friends will make you go wtf,there's no denial that we'll be a little less rich without them

Friendship problem is an endless problem.I'm sure everyone will nod their head when I utter these words or some may not.perhaps some of you never faced any ugly situations in friendship? that's out of my stuff to think of but i believe that is part of life.being around people called friends taught me something that I won't erase from my thought till the end of time.as a normal human being I myself cannot avoid from facing problems in my friendship.the bitterness of it is always there.that's the taste which I had to swallow,unwillingly.

I have encountered so many problems amongst my friends.some of them were just because of stupid stuffs.and some of the problems happened because of my own mistakes or perhaps most of them.to be honest, having an issue with a friend is the last thing I would wish to have but what can I do.I can't run away from it.maybe it is the rule of friendship.but if i was asked about a thing that i have learned from friendship after tasting the sweetness and the bitterness of it,one word would come across my mind...expectation.a word which determine the value of a friendship.

02 May 2011

Pierced Heartpiece

My heart is a lonely soul.I am emotionally ill.I only find crying is the best thing that I can do to soothe this sore heart piece but I realize it won't solve anything.sometimes I feel that I have no friends at all.maybe I'm just a whore with a sensitive spirit.who cares about what I feel.

People keeps telling me that I'm a good listener as well as a good motivator though suck in practicing.this is who I am. I too need  a shoulder that I can cry on.you may see that I'm easy going,loud or anything.you name it.truth be told, I'm just a lonely whore whose no one wanna be friend with.keep pretending be my friends.I don't fucking care cos I know I'm still gonna be alone when the time comes.I believe that all men will die alone after all.I may not know when the time is yet I'm very sure of it.after realizing this,now I'm isolating myself from people all around me.I'm just gonna live in my own world;dictate it with a full power and authority.

23 April 2011

Roll the Dice

Your time is limited,so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.Don’t be trapped by dogma-which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice.And most important,have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.They somehow already know what you truly want to become.

I don't need to elaborate further.

21 April 2011


Sorry for a long hiatus.the last post was a drafted one actually.being kept safe until the right moment came to post that entry.been busy with ASSignments.yeah yeah I know I'm a future teacher but lecturers gave us assignments as if I'm gonna be a future writer. I was lifeless and completely became a social retard for weeks. I had no entertainments for myself.anyways,all those assignments have been trashed well haha.

I don't really have much to say here.I mean, I don't really have a focus subject to write about.Just write so that my blog will seems alive and not haunted lol.How bout this time I put some random things about myself.not completely random.I'll just write anything that comes across my mind now.now means while I'm writing this.can do that meh? I'm the most random person you would have ever known so sure enough I can haha.

11 April 2011

Reply Speech

a short post.brief and easy.
purpose of the entry: to explain myself to some people out there,someone,unnamed.

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear

I'm not here to make enemies and never intend to.To my haters,if I have any:

You have every right to hate me.I mean everyone.there's really nothing I can do about it.I'm just a human being.not perfect.to you,you,and you,if you do really hate me,you can just say it right to my face.Come on,be bold.Throw your hatred to me.I don't mind.What's the point talking behind my back without me knowing nothing about what you're talking about.I won't feel anything.You must have your own reason for hating me.But if you hate me for no reason then I can't change the way I think, and I can't change the way I am, but if I offended you, good. because I still don't give a fuck.


09 April 2011

Heart With Letters

it weekend so let's sing this song out loud lol.ah fuck you rebecca black. i feel like killing this girl.i just hate this stupid song lol.oh man I'm fucking bored here in the hostel.someone, please take me out tonight.sigh.since I don't really have anyone to talk to right now so here I am updating blog.this is the only way.I will keep myself busy otherwise something bad will happen heh.nay, I just don't really like being lonely.but I have to bear with it,at times.well you should know the feeling of being lonely right? emptiness filling up the holes of boredom.fuck yeah.I hate being alone.

BUT that's not what makes me being here.I'm not gonna talk about loneliness.it will be effing lame if I talk about it.I wanna speak my heart out loud. it keeps screaming looking for holes to bail out from its cage.I'm tired of keeping in the lockup of thought,left unspoken,unwritten,unaware by people all around me.I don't mind people not being aware of what I've been through.I can't force anyone to be concern about my life of course.

05 April 2011

Help! I Need Somebody!

April's first entry.Sorry peeps can't find the right time to write something here even though so many things have been happening this few months.I'm ridiculously busy with works,tasks,assignments etc.Super busy.I can't ample my time well right now.Somehow it will be rather boring if I rapidly updating my blog.Blogging isn’t something that we can do just like that, unless, you update something about your daily routines and stuff. I can do that in every hour if you want lol.But that is not what blogging means to me.

Truth is there's a lot of things I wanna say here but I just can't.I decided to keep shut.I have my own reasons for doing this plus it's pretty hard to transform some random thoughts into words.Words are ambiguous so I guess I'm just gonna write something nice to read so that my words won't be misinterpreted by some people (err stalker?).I know that's the price that I have to pay of being vocal heh.

28 March 2011

Eh Eh Nothing Else I Can Say

My life just like one great movie. The problem is no matter how great a movie may be, after the show, everybody leaves.Forget about the sentence cause it's not gonna be that way lol.I'm here to write something else.Moving to the point.This time's post it not meant to be proud of myself.it's just sort of answering something asked by some friends just to make themselves clear which makes myself wonder why did they ask that.

I like to throw my thoughts in English be it writing or speaking.Reason? No reason haha.Figure it out yourself.I wasn't born to speak English from the first place of course.My parent never taught me to speak English at home.In fact, I speak kelantanese with them.The thing is, my friends keep asking me how did I get such a (good?) English when I speak or write.Natural talent? is there such thing? I can't deny that I'm flattered whenever they tell me that I can speak English quite fluently and pretty good at writing.I take it as a compliment though I know I'm far from perfect.Obviously, there are bunch of people out there who can do way better from me.Native speakers are exception of course lol.

21 March 2011

Mental Sickness

Salam 1Malaysia.what a lame greeting.HAHA.
Being youthful teaches me lots of things be it sugary or filled with bitterness.That's my own business to deal with.Out of anyone concern,in fact.At this age,you or even myself started to have passion or interest in certain things.You name it and the list goes on and on.I know this is not a good introduction for an entry but I can't find any other words to write haha.But this is not what I'm gonna talk about.it's rather lame to talk about this kind of thing,seriously.

You know what,let's talk about something else.Something rather insignificant in life yet some people take it too seriously or partially serious.I'm not a huge fan of politics.In fact,there's nothing more I hate than politics in my whole life.truth be told,I'm suck at any political updates revolves around this universe.But some people loves to keep amend themselves with the current situation.please don't get me wrong,I don't mind if you wanna catch up with all those things.If you find it as a must do stuff in your life,keep doing it then.I really don't mind.

10 March 2011

Definition of..

a friend asks:
how do you define best friend?

this is my answer:
well for me best friend is someone who is true in front and stay true behind us regardless the situation.honestly,it's no easy to see someone's sincerity when it comes to friendship.the closest to us might be the worst among all.

09 March 2011


Pernah keluar shopping tanpa planning tak?okay perkara ini berlaku kepada aku dan kawan kawan (Abe dan Anip).Sangat random.mula-mula aku dan Abe keluar breakfast kat pantai dalam since kelas sejam je hari ni then we started to lost.lepas makan dah tak tahu nak buat apa.Then abe ajak pergi karaoke.terus setuju dan memilih tempat yang sesuai serta menyeronokkan.yeah that was the first plan after breakfast.

since rasa macam tak seronok keluar berdua then kitorang decide nak ajak Anip join sekali.Minah ni on je apabila diajak keluar tambahan lagi dengan adanya driver yang tak berbayar ni (mata ke atas tangan ke bahu) HAHA.pergi pick up anip depan library.rasa macam nak pergi OU so tanya la anip dia taw tak jalan nak pergi sana.malang sekali dia buta geografi haha.so decide pergi sunway on the spot.plan karaoke melayang ditiup angin.

nak pergi shopping tapi anip lupa bawak purse tapi oleh kerana elaun yang aku dapat ni memang untuk aku kasi pinjam dekat orang (mata ke atas,tangan ke bahu) so kasi dia dia pinjam duit sikit.sampai je sunway terus lost sebab langsung tak plan nak datang sana.sumpah tak tahu nak buat apa.just jalan then nampak starbucks.lepak minum dekat starbucks around sejam sambil makan donut giant berharga RM 2.99 hahaha then terus gerak masuk kedai kasut sebab anip nak beli kasut.entah bila la dia plan nak beli kasut nieh.heran betul.

08 March 2011

Play Pretend

Let's face it,I can't write,in a good manner, when it comes to BM.it sucks and will turn out being an offensive writing.Give me an issue then I'll turn it into a storm.But this time around I will just write a brief post.Yes update kali ini bakal diisi dengan kutukan kepada seseorang.someone..unnamed.

27 February 2011

Words Worth a Thousand Meaning

 Apologizing doesn't always mean you're wrong and your friends are right. It just means that you value your friendship more than your ego.
 No further explanation required.

24 February 2011

Words From a Friend

 To borrow from a friend's beautiful words:
We often assume that our friends are not true friends,but have we ever ask ourselves,are we true friends?
Got this from his status posted on Facebook.To whom it's been expressed and pointed to remains a one million dollar question which will stay become out of my concern.This quote has really get me going.Such a thoughtful utterance which came straight from the heart.I can't say I'm not agree with his words.It's indeed true.But I'm not gonna elaborate it based on his views since I can't read his mind.Instead I will become the novice speaker to give my own words on this quotation.

I have no right to comment on his thought and I don't even intend to do that after all.I'm not gonna offend anyone as well. His words alarmed me something which I never realized before.I mean are really people assume their friends as true friends and false friends? How do we know they are true and they ain't? I never thought there's some kind of category in friendship.Hmm.

22 February 2011

Just a Pamphlet

Attach no strings over something insignificant.This is gonna be the subject matter of my post this time.I think I haven't wrote anything regarding my friendship circle for quite sometime though.So it's the time to let out what's hidden under my pants.There's a question to ponder.How do you view friendship? I mean how do you define friends.I don't need people to look it up in dictionary.Gimme the answer straight from your heart.

Friendship has its own language.Something abstract.I don't view my friendship language as words but I picture it as meanings.Talking to some random people in public won't make you their friends.Sincerity is the key of everything.An insincere friend and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body,but an evil friend will wound your mind.I trust my friends with my own life.I'm a type of person who won't make a fuss or attach a string with my friends over something which is not worth to argue for.I'll try my best not to offend everyone around me.I think deeply before uttering any words to avoid it becoming an issue.I care about their feeling and for sure I'm hoping for the same thing.

15 February 2011

The Reason

How should I start this? Give me some time to think okay? I need some kind of bombastic words to write this.*looking up the words in the dictionary*lol.Right this is lame.No extraordinary words required here but I just couldn't find the right way to kick off my writing.Asking for your health and all that stuff is just too lame.I don't do that thing.Well enough with this paragraph and let's get started to the real issue.

....Still asking myself how to start this..(it has been 10 minutes or so).Yeah yeah I will start now.

Hmm as much as I love being single there's no denying that somehow I'm longing for someone special to be by my side.BUT that someone is still a question which I can barely give an accurate answer.I don't know who can really unlock my heart chest to make the door wide open to make me fall in love.I'm still waiting for the right person who has the golden key of my heart.You gotta to know that I have my own reason why I'm still not in a relationship though I'm crushing hard on so many people for so many times.I'm a loser in love but always telling people about love. Good in motivating but not in practicing.

12 February 2011

Fitting Into the Right Size

I've been emotionally unstable lately.I brood over something insignificant and started to tense up on silly stuff.I don't know what is fucking wrong with me.I'm contented.Stuffing my mind up with bad thoughts and all.Everything all around me is wrong.Sometimes I feel that I'm not being rational over myself.I keep swearing under my breath all the time.

The intention of writing this is to let all my thoughts to flow out. I'm sick of bearing this thing. Being tossed in a new place; a new college is not a good thing for me. I cant still fit myself into this canvas. In fact, I loathe this place.

The truth is I'm lonely here. Like a wandering sinned soul who has not been blessed by God. I'm all alone. I do have friends here,a great ones indeed but it seems that it's not easy for me to hop into their friendship circle. They already have their close friends. Who am I to fit myself into their social box. I'm no one here. They may see that I'm loud outspoken guy from the outside but I just temporarily don that filthy feeling cloth. Deep inside I'm crying and bleeding. Sorrow comes invading uninvited. I'm not ashamed to confess that I always have an emotional talk with my mom. I keep crying whenever I call her. Sometimes I feel that this burden is too much to bear.

10 February 2011

Hot Hunks Hiatus

This is a delayed post which I was supposed to publish this last week since I still couldn't get the photos from *ehem2* our new photographer,Faris cos I haven't posted anything regarding my awesome single life for quite some time.So this time I'll include bunch of photos for public viewing haha.Basically it was all started random.I happened to went back to my hometown during the Chinese new year holiday cos my brother insisted me to tag along.I just wanted to kill my boredom during that day.So I called Hazman telling him that I was coming to his place to chill around.
I drove all the way from my place which took me for about one hour and a half.I came separately with Edan.Then we fetched Faris at his grandparents' place.My first plan was I wanted to rejuvenate myself at some waterfall but it didn't happened cos Hazman didn't know the way to that spot ;(

So we decided to go to a place called Pantai Bukit Kluang and Pantai Air Tawar or whatever it's called.The point is it's a beach alright? Datang sana sekadar nak lepak dan bukan mandi manda.It was such a breathtaking beach.


Tiada aktiviti lain yang dilakukan kecuali menangkap gambar selagi kamera mampu menampungnya haha.I don't wanna write a lengthy essay so I'll just paste some photos of that day.

The triplets

We were high this time HAHA

Lastly Hazman brought us to a mee soup stall which has been said that the mee soup is extra delicious so we gave it a shot.Well it was undeniably tasty.Sangat sodap.No wonder people there love it so much.Plus,it was freaking cheap.RM3 for a bowl of mee.I ate the mee till the last bit.Wanna see it?Never mind,malas nak upload.

Yeah that was it.a fun hiatus.though it was just a short one I still had a great day with them.

Let's face it.I'm not good at writing narration stuff.factual is more fun.

08 February 2011

Spare Your Time

Think about what I'm gonna write. "The undergraduate society is a misguided society. Undergraduates should study hard,get a degree,so that we can get a good job and makes lots of money. Speak your mother tongue whenever possible,for if not we will lose our identiy. Do not raise or discuss sensitive issues,or later the whole nation will erupt into chaos and everyone will start killing each other. Do not criticize goverment policies,if not you are anti establishment. One shoul ask,is this guidance or misguidance? It's a question of statement where the answer is assumption."
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Beautiful Lyrics

All time favorite song.It really means something to me.Something which I can't even explain but it's linked to my life or perhaps everyone else too. The lyric is just beautiful.

07 February 2011

First Attempt

I just downloaded blogger-droid which is an application that allows me to blog on the go! Let say I see a couple is snogging in front of me then I can blog it on the spot.I can make it a latest blast like gossip girl does haha.of course the photo of the ugly scene will be included as a solid prove haha.Sue me cos I don't have any better example to give lol.

So this is my first attempt blogging via my android.it's really cool.you should try it some time.

Jadi apa lagi belilah android bagi menjamin keseronokan hidup tanpa had hahaha
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

01 February 2011

On the Verge of Metamorphosis

Hey folks! Wait let me check, it’s been one hell of century that I didn’t sign for a new entry after my last period of animate existence. Currently, I’m trying my best to keep the ups and downs at certain range.So here we go, a very fast writing.

I do have things to write. I always do but it's hard to make focus right now. I'll be keeping on this crap just to make you guys know that I'm still living, lol. So, what's the material for today? You tell me yeah! Geez it's not that easy to blog, I need something to mood altering myself. I don't know how to tell but it's not easy.

Now,let's start writing.Think,think,think! ( about 5 minutes passed). Okay, I'll be random this time.Actually I wanna write about my progress of learning.To be exact as a college student.The last time I count, college was heavenly pleasurable.There was no shitty things like I need to stress up for studies,and all those atmosphere.But, that was last years.Pre-Degree years.

22 January 2011

My Heart is a Chimera

I can't be perfect in everyone's eyes.That's the holy fact about me.Actually I don't even know why am I writing this.In fact, I don't have any particular thing to scribble.It's just the urge of writing has come uninvited.Words can't just stop lingering in my stuffed mind.Ready to come out while drilling the my head's wall.Ah I screwed up! No matter what, I'm just gonna finish this post in just one shot otherwise it'll just end up being trashed in the draft;left unwritten.

I am no saint.Instead, I am a sinner.I have such a vulnerable heart;fragile.I get mad,easily dictated by forbidden desires.I pet a monster,the ugly one in my heart.A monster which never wanna come out and not even listen to its master.They say we need to listen to your heart as it's the sixth invincible sense in one's life.But heart can be somewhat a cheater to its keeper especially when it comes to doing err a bad deed.I realize my heart is not easy to be tamed.It roars when not getting anything it wants.

15 January 2011

When Someone Hits You From The First Sight

Love happens to everyone.Now it's crashing me hard through my rib.The crush hits me hard straight through the heart.But this is the most bizarre case you would have ever known cos I'm liking someone whom I never talked to so far since I'm still new in her friendship circle.I tried hard to find any comfy things which we can talk bout but hell it'll just end up my tongue tied hard between my teeth.Silly me,I'm too afraid to approach this girl cos I'm afraid that she might not like me.Well I realize that I'm not a good looking guy who will make every girl melt down once I pass by.No,I'm not in that category.I got too many flaws.This is bad man.How long can I keep hiding this feeling towards her?

I couldn't find any better way to approach her.When can I gather all my courage that I have to confront her? Not telling her of how I feel about her but I just wanna crack the nutshell.I wanna get to know her really well first.But shit,I didn't even have the balls to do that.I'm screwed up.I guess only time will tell and clearly if I snooze I will definitely lose.Simple enough.

Let's just hope I can assemble all the guts I own to go to her and tell how much I like this girl.

13 January 2011

Hi Dik,Boleh Cakap Bahasa Melayu Tak?

All hail Malaysia.HAHA

Before I start writing further,let me be clear with all of you that this is gonna be an offensive post for some people.Do accept my advance apology haha.Wait why do I even apologize since this is my blog.Obviously,I have the full authority of it.This is yet another insignificant update where people won't waste their time to argue or attach any strings about it.Hell this blog belongs to me so I can do anything I want people!

Actually I wanna talk about something which distracts my academic career line the most.To be exact a compulsory subject which I have to take for a couple of semesters for my undergrad studies.This subject is clearly not required for a local English major student like me.It's not like I'm gonna pursue my bachelor years of studies in any foreign lands like the UK or Aussie.Wonder what the hell the subject is? It's called Bahasa Melayu Komunikatif! Frankly,I hate this subject.It's the most fucking boring subject which I have to learn for 2 hellish hours in a week (in the afternoon for that matter).

But please,don't get me wrong.It's not that I'm forgetting my own root as a Malay born guy whatsoever.I'm proud to be a Malay.No kidding.It's my identity as a citizen in this country.I can speak standard Malay language really fluent though I'm a Kelantanese born stud cos I know some of them might not be able to speak it fluently as we still can hear some Kelantanese slang when they utter the words.No offense! I used to be in this circle once back then when I started to speak like they say; "cakap KL". Now,even some of my best friends are still confused of where I came from when I start to utter the dialect.Alana once thought that I was from Johore!LOL.

10 January 2011


Wonder why I put that kind of title for my post this time?First,let me teach you how to say the word.it's inter-national-lying.Find the meaning on your own if you want but of course you won't find any haha.Fine,let's cut the crap cos it doesn't have any significance of it anyway.The thing is I'm gonna talk about my, well, so called new phase of life under a new canvas.Nay,it's not really that new.Just new.Oh my God what am I trying to say huh?lol. Right,I am now officially an undergraduate student in college.First year for that matter.Should I tell you of how good being an undergraduate student is?Should I?Sorry, I'm too lazy to write about it haha.

Like I have mentioned in a few of my previous posts before,I was gonna transferred into a new college.So here I am,in the new English-niche school.They say changes are great but what is so great about change? No, you tell me.So far I haven't feel anything about it.Whenever I bump into my friends in my former college,they would ask this; "hey how's your life in the new place?" then I was like,"fuck what should I answer them?I don't have any satisfying answer for that,really.I would just tell them that life has been treating me good in a new place.Well I got new friends,new learning environment etc.But, the truth is, I still can't adapt myself in this school yet.I still have difficulty to sleep,pretty awkward in class (particularly with girls)still thinking of my friends in my former college so on and so forth (ain't this sounds sentimental? lol)

03 January 2011

Life is Awesome

Words surely won't able describe of how grateful I am after given the chance by the Lord to breath the air for 20 years already.I can't really believe that I'm already 20 years old!Look people,look how time flies.No,it doesn't fly but it rockets.It's like a blink of an eye.I feel as if number envies me so much.That's why I'm aging so fast lol.Anyways since I am already 20 so I will try to act like one of course haha.Let's hope I'll be more mature and more independent.Thank you Allah.Alhamdulillah.

So yeah,Happy Birthday to myself.

01 January 2011

It Was 2010

I left "my friends" I grew up
I made smart decisions and I made stupid ones
I fell in love or maybe I just tripped
 I moved on and I felt lost in a sea of people
I was ignored a lot
I was happy and I was overwhelmed
I said things that never have should left my mouth
I said things that deserved to be said
I messed up and I made up
I created memories
I cried a lot,but I probably laugh more
This year was humongous for me
I got hurt so much, but still
I have no regrets
That was my 2010.

Farewell 2010

Everyone seems busy wishing their family and friends happy new year,so I don't wanna miss the chance too though I have nothing to write about.Of course,no new resolutions required cos I never set one since then.For me,when new year comes, I will open the book where its pages are blank and I'm going to put words on them myself. The book is called opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.Happy New Year everyone!