09 April 2011

Heart With Letters

it weekend so let's sing this song out loud lol.ah fuck you rebecca black. i feel like killing this girl.i just hate this stupid song lol.oh man I'm fucking bored here in the hostel.someone, please take me out tonight.sigh.since I don't really have anyone to talk to right now so here I am updating blog.this is the only way.I will keep myself busy otherwise something bad will happen heh.nay, I just don't really like being lonely.but I have to bear with it,at times.well you should know the feeling of being lonely right? emptiness filling up the holes of boredom.fuck yeah.I hate being alone.

BUT that's not what makes me being here.I'm not gonna talk about loneliness.it will be effing lame if I talk about it.I wanna speak my heart out loud. it keeps screaming looking for holes to bail out from its cage.I'm tired of keeping in the lockup of thought,left unspoken,unwritten,unaware by people all around me.I don't mind people not being aware of what I've been through.I can't force anyone to be concern about my life of course.

cut the crap bah! here's the actual thing that I wanna say.it's about my heart being unconditionally sensitive even to an insignificant matters.My heart sometimes feels way more than it should.often,I ask myself,why does it always seem to happen this way? The answer comes back in my head to say that I am human and humans are weak tending to fray, and thoughts do sometimes stray. I classify myself as weak, but really it isn’t that at all. It takes on a much higher order which is that of being meek, so to speak, often allowing a situation to exist, a situation I cannot resist. That is not where the problem lies. I can sometimes be very wise. The problem is sharing. I am more into pairing. A little old-fashioned some would say that may be, but it is my way. I allow myself to easily get hurt, even down to a word that seems a little curt. That's who I am.I can be too sensitive at times,that is true,but I would rather be guilty of that than to have a hardened heart that is unimpactable too.

If you get what I meant.

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