05 April 2011

Help! I Need Somebody!


April's first entry.Sorry peeps can't find the right time to write something here even though so many things have been happening this few months.I'm ridiculously busy with works,tasks,assignments etc.Super busy.I can't ample my time well right now.Somehow it will be rather boring if I rapidly updating my blog.Blogging isn’t something that we can do just like that, unless, you update something about your daily routines and stuff. I can do that in every hour if you want lol.But that is not what blogging means to me.

Truth is there's a lot of things I wanna say here but I just can't.I decided to keep shut.I have my own reasons for doing this plus it's pretty hard to transform some random thoughts into words.Words are ambiguous so I guess I'm just gonna write something nice to read so that my words won't be misinterpreted by some people (err stalker?).I know that's the price that I have to pay of being vocal heh.

This time it'll be about me.of how I sketch my life into a messy abstract drawing with cheap paints.cheap as in I fail to beautify my life into an admired figure.I'm not a good painter.I realized I chose the wrong color with imperfect tones.I ain't Van Gogh.I feel like evacuating myself from this universe.my mind is en masse.I need a rehab. Sometimes I feel like people all around me are metaphorically a disease.Some comes spreading and starts to paste the bruise on my heart piece.what makes me hurt is the bruise my fade but the scars remain.it's unbearable.

There's no point talking about this.I have to face it all alone after all.I won't let fugly emotions to dictate my life cos I know I'll become irrational if it can tame a wild beast like me to make me the slave.I won't let dirty emotions to master my life.yeah yeah I gotta admit it's not easy to hold on to this stage of this cheap drama with hardly people to watch me dramatize it.

Now I feel quite relieved after channeling my unsolved puzzle of my silly life.this is the best I can do.to cry my heart out loud.

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