Should I tell you what does the title mean? sure I don't need to.You will know when you read further.If you ever be bothered to do so of course. anyway it's good to be back here though.spilling everything out into words without trying not to offend anyone 'cause that's what I always do here lol. If you asked what's been going with my life now, I dare say that there's nothing good going on with me lately.life never treats me well. blegh I'm here not to talk about how fucked up my life is. I wanna to talk about something else.something you know, some stuff heheh.
This is the hardest part. I don't know how to begin or where to begin.right I've an idea now. I think most of friends know that I'm currently studying at a teacher training college.you know, where people study to become teachers. ergo I'm a student teacher.to be exact an English teacher-to-be.don't be surprised if you didn't know this.honestly,it never crossed my mind that someday I'll become a teacher.
When I said it never crossed my mind that I'm gonna be an educator in the unfathomable future, I really mean it. I mean come on, I suck at teaching.seriously.let me tell you this, it takes a lot of courage for someone to stand up in front and deliver the knowledge to his or her students.if someone said teaching is any easy job then I really hope they will rot in hell.if you never try, you'll never know.it's never easy, trust me. anyway, I'm not writing this because it was teacher's day yesterday.it has nothing to do with it.believe me.I have nothing to write about it anyway.
right, back to my story of becoming a teacher soon (soon as in two years time). let me clarify one thing here. the only thing that makes me jump into this academic career which is teacher training is I'm a fond of English.they say when you love something, you'll become more passionate in doing it. I don't know. I can't measure myself lol. I mean how passionate I will be when I teach soon? Back then I used to dream to become a writer but considering the fact that I live in Malaysia makes it even harder to pursue my ambition further.Um how do I put this huh? being a teacher was never on the list of my ambitions but now God has fated me to become one in the future. I'm really grateful,really. everything happens for a reason ain't it? at least I still got a chance to study in a college. it's just a local college. I don't deny that I envy my friends that are studying abroad but I guess luck is not on my side and the opportunity hasn't come knocking just yet. not being a smart student was another minus point of why I didn't get a chance to study overseas :( ah whatever I accept what has been written to me as it is.
Now I gotta focus on my studies and try my very best to achieve what I really want in my life. I know it's easier said that done and that's why I never take my studies for granted. perhaps some people in this college think that no matter how hard they study in the end they'll become teachers. this principle doesn't apply for me.I'll give my very best when I become a teacher soon.I can say that I've bonded well with this field of study. though I didn't like it in the first place it doesn't mean I can't make the best out of it.but one thing for sure, I'm not gonna be a teacher for the rest of my life as I know I can go beyond than that.that's the promise that I'll keep to myself.it's the reason why I like to sketch the mental picture of my future before I go to bed.it keeps me motivated and keeps me alive to achieve it.
p/s: despite I was never a favourite student back in high school or primary school.in fact, some of them hated me and of course I hate them back up until now, I'm just gonna wish Happy Teacher's Day to all my teachers.may God bless you no matter where they are now and how they treated me. I always keep them in my prayers.salut!
:school was never really fun for me.