30 June 2012

Composing Sanity

You may think that you've lost a few friends but some people still want you in their life. Unlike me, once I've lost some friends, I will become an outcast. Hated and ridiculed.Loneliness has become my middle name. If you asked me did I ever choose this life, the answer is definitely no. Maybe I was born this way. To be left alone in sorrow. Often, I want my life to end before the expiration date as I no longer see the value of life yet my religion still embraces me. Pulling me off  from the edge of cliff to make me sane again whenever I think of ending my life. I realise running away from problems won't solve any of it but sometime the burden that's been hampering me is too much to be lifted by a miserable soul like me.

13 June 2012

Brief Update

Currently on a 3-week of semester break which will end in a few days. basically I'm rotting at home cos I got no money to go out.I'm fucking broke mate. but this time my hiatus is pretty much productive. I read books, I go jogging and keeping myself busy most of the time. honestly, I hate staying at home. this is how you feel when you are living in a not-so-happy family.tell you what I don't really talk to anybody since my first day of holiday. that's how the family functions. it's not easy but I gotta live with it. you mind your own fucking business period.screw that shit.that's not what I'm gonna talk here.I don't have anything to talk about anyway. whatever, I just wanna this holiday to end soon. I wanna be away from home.

*when I'm around other people I can still pretend that I'm normal

06 June 2012

Sinful As I Am

Not telling the truth
sometimes I feel like I'm at the edge of a cliff,
looking down at the crashing surf
with nowhere to go but down.
I used to have these fun dreams
when I was so free.
But now, as I fly,
I'm afraid.
They are telephone lines and electrical wires.
How painful it would be to run into one.
I wonder if I'll ever be free again.