26 September 2013

Uncertainty

A few weeks back I spent my eid holidays in kampung. I know it's rather late to talk about it but fret not, I'm not gonna talk about how I celebrated my eid and whatnot. Anyway, it was great to get the chance to meet some childhood friends who are grown ups now. Some are settling down with their partner and some are still studying while some are already working and can even afford to pay their own car which I thought it's pretty cool somehow. In case you're wondering why they already have their own job even though most of them are still at my age, 22 years old;young and dangerous, let me break this for you, most of them did not further their studies after they left high school but they opt for working instead. I don't have any issue with that,honestly. But the life's choice made kinda makes me wonder about something. Are they guaranteed with a promising future? Hmm.

Well, just because you don't go to college that doesn't mean you can't be successful in life. Living proof:Bill Gates. Frankly, if I were to compare my life with theirs now I'd quite envious with them. Why? Because they've got their own money while I'm still relying on the student allowance for my meals which I can hardly spend on something else despite the fact that I'm a spendthrift. That's the matter that leads me to question myself. How can we be sure one particular life's choice won't lead you to a promising future? We can never tell for sure. Nonetheless, don't you worry child 'cause heaven's got the plan for you. Let's face it, being a teacher in Malaysia doesn't promise you a luxurious life,really. I mean come on, with the current economic situation, I might not even afford to buy a local car in future let alone a house. Let's not go in depth and talk about political shit. I'm politically ignorant anyway. Shall I proceed?

I have mentally sketched how my future would look like but I can only draw it in mind while God will decide how it should turn out. Ugh, I have the fear of the unknown. I'm scared of something that is uncertain. I bear too many 'what ifs' in mind that makes me abandon to cherish the present. I wish I could illuminate to the whole world of how I want my life to look like but I see no point of keeping faith in the uncertainty. I cloud my mind with unhealthy thoughts. Anyway, my life's choice lies in my hand. I am the lead role of this cheap film. I'm gonna live the present and be fearless to the unknown. I don't wanna jeopardize my life for something uncertain. One thing for sure, I too, wanna be successful in life and become fucking rich! LOL.

The stuff I write above aren't exactly interrelated but whatever. I'm gonna stop now and read Sufian Abas. Be smart in picking your life's choice; it could be good or bad. Either way, you'll bear the consequences. After all, it's your fucking life.

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